


hey, little bro

by Peasantaries



Series: Novellas [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternative Universe - No Hale Fire, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Mates, Multi, Mutual Pining, Older Stiles, Pack Bonding, Young Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-23 17:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4885210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peasantaries/pseuds/Peasantaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dating your best friend whilst crushing on her little brother probably wasn't Stiles' finest moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is a WIP and unfortunately I'm not sure when I'll be able to update - although again, if I get a huge reaction, I'll definetely work harder

“Hi.” 

Stiles glances up quickly to find Laura Hale standing by his desk, fiddling with the strap of her bag.

“Can I sit here?” She gestures to the empty seat beside him. 

He blinks. Looks around the room. 

All the other seats in the class are taken.

He grins. “Sure.”

And that's how it begins.

Instantly, they hit it off. It's as if he's known her all his life; granted, he knew _of _her.__

__The infamous Hale family - popular, beautiful, rich._ _

__But when she sits beside him in history, he finds they have more in common than he first thought. Firstly, Stiles discovers that Laura Hale is much witter than he'd previously taken her for. Much, much more._ _

__So then she begins hanging out with him and Scott at lunch. And then she invites her friends over: Lydia, Danny, Jackson and Allison._ _

__And eventually she becomes a part of their duo, until he finds he spends more time kicking back with Laura than he does with Scott, who's out with Allison, doing mysterious and frolicky things that couples do under a full moon._ _

__So when Laura asks him over to work on their history project, he agrees._ _

__And that's when he meets Derek._ _

__"Okay, so my family are a little weird."_ _

__"Because they're werewolves." Stiles states._ _

__She grins. "That's part of it."_ _

__She had told him a week ago; well alright, Stiles had guessed._ _

__Laura seemed rather incredulous when he replied, "cool," to her statement, "okay, so I'm a werewolf." But then she laughed, a relieved breath, and said, "Only you, Stiles."_ _

__"They're also kind of overbearing." Laura continues._ _

__"Can't they hear this?"_ _

__She gives him an eyebrow and readjusts her backpack. "From the forest? Miles away?" Then she smirks. "Yeah."__

__He hits her with his bag. She yelps and retaliates._ _

_  
_

__*  
When they finally make it to the Hale house, Stiles gets what she means about overbearing. They open the door for Laura and all stand in a line staring at him._ _

__"Oh." Is the first thing to come out of his mouth._ _

__"Guys, this is Stiles." Laura begins. "Stiles, this is my mum -"_ _

__A woman waves a little and says, "Talia."_ _

__"This is my dad."_ _

__"Hi!" A man salutes and grins widely._ _

__"My sister Cora."_ _

__"Hey." A young girl beams._ _

__"My uncle, Peter."_ _

__Peter smirks at Stiles and subtly sweeps his eyes over him._ _

__"And my brother, Derek."_ _

__Derek stands at the end of the line, staring blankly at Stiles. Stiles tries to smile, but he's met with stoicism and a raised eyebrow._ _

__"Well, hi everyone." He stammers._ _

__"Okay, so we're just gonna go up." Laura points to the stairs and all but drags Stiles away._ _

__"Yeesh." Stiles whistles, and Laura giggles into her palm as she races up the stairs. "That was like a scene from the Addams family."_ _

__"Stiles." She says as she closes the door. Then she wordlessly tugs on her earlobes._ _

__He face-palms. She grins, and settles down to do some work, pulling folders out of her bag._ _

__"So, uh." He begins. She looks up, her long dark hair falling over her shoulder and into her face._ _

__"Why - I mean what was - why did?"_ _

__She rolls her eyes. "Relax. I've never brought home a boy before, they jump to conclusions."_ _

__"Oh, so you - "_ _

__She smiles. "Stiles. I'm a werewolf. I can tell when somebody's interested, when they're not, and when they're just plain hopeless in the romance department. Do you want to know which you are?"_ _

__He hangs his head. "Genetically mutated."_ _

__She laughs a bright laugh._ _

__"But what's up with your brother?" He pitches forward, lowering his voice._ _

__She frowns, leaning towards him too. "Why?"_ _

"He was - well, he looked. I mean, well I suppose. Like he wanted to _murder _me Laura."__

____Laura smiles, rolling her eyes. "That's just Derek. He's going through his moody, reclusive puberty stage."_ _ _ _

____Stiles grimaces. "What age is he?"_ _ _ _

____"Thirteen."_ _ _ _

____He winces in sympathy. Laura rolls her eyes again at him, and focuses once again on her work._ _ _ _

____They study for a few hours, until Stiles asks if he can go get a glass of water. He hates asking for anything in somebody else's house, but his throat clicks with the lack of saliva, and Laura gives him a deadpan expression before motioning to the door._ _ _ _

____He tiptoes downstairs. The Hale family appear to be watching TV like any other normal family, and so he goes into the kitchen.____

___Derek is cramped around the kitchen work top, back bent awkwardly over his textbook._ _ _

____"Oh. Hey buddy."_ _ _ _

____He receives a curt glance._ _ _ _

____"Why aren't you studying in your own room?"_ _ _ _

____Derek looks to him. "I'm not allowed."_ _ _ _

____"Why?"_ _ _ _

____"Because you're here."_ _ _ _

____Stiles pulls a face. "Sorry man."_ _ _ _

____Derek goes to open his mouth, but stops, frowns, then tilts his head slightly. "Why are your freckles so large?"_ _ _ _

____"Why - oh, they're not freckles." Stiles waves a hand "They're moles."_ _ _ _

____Derek looks at him suspiciously. "You can't have that many moles."_ _ _ _

____"I know, it's unlucky." Stiles agrees._ _ _ _

____"They cover your whole face."_ _ _ _

____Stiles snorts. "They cover everything." He pulls the side of his shirt at his neck to show the moles across his collarbone._ _ _ _

____Derek glances away quickly, a blush staining his cheeks. Stiles comes over and peers down at Derek's book. "Need any help?"____

___Derek wordlessly shakes his head, face getting redder._ _ _

____"Alright." He holds his hands up. "I'm just getting water." He opens a cupboard to find tins of soup. "Or. Not."_ _ _ _

____Derek huffs and reaches for a door, picking out a glass. Stiles takes it, filling it with tap water. He gulps it down, fills it again and takes slower sips._ _ _ _

____Derek is staring._ _ _ _

____Stiles flails. "God, I'm sorry, I'm being so annoying, okay, okay." He chucks the water down the sink, puts the glass in the cupboard and runs._ _ _ _

____And runs back. "Oh my god I didn't even rise the glass that's so gross just - " he gets the cup, rinses it with water and rushes back out._ _ _ _

____When he enters back into Laura's room, she is staring at him with the most bewildered expression. "What did you -"____

______He collapses on her bed._ _ _ _ _ _

____*_ _ _ _

____And so going to the Hale house becomes a regular thing. And everyday he goes to Laura's to study, he finds Derek in the kitchen._ _ _ _

____"Hey there!"_ _ _ _

____Derek nods, his ears turning red._ _ _ _

____"Dude, why don't you just go up to your room?"_ _ _ _

____Derek sighs. "Because I told you, I'm not allowed. Laura thinks I'll eavesdrop."_ _ _ _

____"On what? How bad Hitler was? Because I gotta tell you man, if you don't know that by now, there's no hope."_ _ _ _

____A grin plays on the edges of Derek's mouth._ _ _ _

____"Hey, there it is!" Stiles shouts. "Finally a response! That, that right there, is a great smile, everybody should come see this smile people."_ _ _ _

____Derek ducks his head, grinning wider, although he's rolling his eyes as though totally unimpressed._ _ _ _

____Stiles reaches for his water bottle. "I'll leave you to it, but man, you could blind people with that thing." He parodies covering his face. "Use it sparingly."_ _ _ _

____Derek looks like he couldn't stop if he tried, which Stiles thinks he is._ _ _ _

____Laura is frowning at him when he comes back. He waves his bottle at her._ _ _ _

____"I'm beginning to think you come here just to see my little brother."_ _ _ _

____He frowns. "What? No. Why would you think that?" He's genuinely puzzled. He only sees Derek for a few minutes in the hours he comes over here._ _ _ _

____"Well, I'm just saying. Be careful, he's at a fragile age."_ _ _ _

____He rolls his eyes. "You're so weird." He goes back to his notes. Then frowns. Thinks about that. He isn't exactly sure what she means._ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! Again, just a short update - I honestly planned to finish all my fics this summer, but then I remember that that would be impossible unless I planned on giving up living
> 
>  
> 
> *side-note; Mr Hale is called James, as he needed a name

"Hey dude!"

"Hey." Derek answers shortly, nodding.

"What's on the agenda today?"

Derek's expression is unimpressed. "English."

Stiles laughs, coming over to see. "Oh, I remember this! Romeo, Romeo, where art thou Rom - she says his name a lot, doesn't she?"

Derek laughs, shaking his head.

"Do you need any help?" He leans against the counter.

"Hey Stiles!" Cora appears.

"Hi!" He says, ruffling her hair. She growls and goes for the fridge.

He turns back to Derek.

"Uh, well." Derek coughs, scratching his ear. "I could use help on writing the essay."

And so that's how Laura finds them, probably a while later, Stiles sitting on the counter work top, Derek leaning his head on his hand, Cora acting out the lines, strewn sheets between them, and a biscuit in Stiles' hand.

"And so - " crumbs falls from his mouth gracelessly as he gestures, "- you can actually see the thinly veiled prejudice -"

"Stiles."

He looks up to see Laura.

"Oh! I was just helping Derek for a minute."

"Try an hour and a half." She says archly.

"Oh, uh." He stalls, glancing to Derek and Cora. "Sorry. I just got caught up." He says sheepishly. "I mean, you should've come down earlier."

She waves a hand. "It's fine, I got a lot more done without your whistling breathing."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Stiles, stop saying sorry." She jumps up onto the counter and hooks an arm around his neck. "I like when you come over. So what are we doing?"

"Romeo and Juliet!" Cora says proudly, and Stiles holds up his script for her to see. She leans into his space, her hair smelling of flowers, and she still has an arm casually resting on his shoulder.

"And you needed help with this?" She directs the question to Derek.

Derek shrugs, remaining silent.

"I could've helped you with this."

Oddly, Laura's voice sounds both hurt and suspicious.

"You sayin' I ain't got the knack for English?" He jokes, trying to diffuse the odd tension. His comment goes unheeded as Laura stares down at Derek, silently communicating.

Stiles takes this as his cue. "It's getting late, I should probably start heading out. This was great! I'll just get my things and go."

When he comes back downstairs with his rucksack, he calls into Mr and Mrs Hale, "Goodbye Talia, bye James, and Peter!"

The door clicks shut, and he walks home, not really sure what he's done wrong and yet with this looming sense of dread that he's messed up.

*

He sees Laura at lunch. Immediately he rushes up to her.

"Laura I'm sorry for last night, I know it must look really weird - "

"Do you want to go on a date with me this Friday?"

He stops, stunned. "Uh, yeah, we can do something Friday, but - "

"A date. Do you want to go on a date?"

He looks at her. She's his best friend, even overcoming Scott. "Of course I would."

She smiles, seems to relax.

"Laura." He starts. "Do you?"

"Yes." She says decisively.

"Okay." He breathes. "But about last night, I just wanted to be nice to your little brother and sister, I hardly know them. But that doesn't mean that I -- prefer them or anything weird - "

"No, no, no, Stiles, that's not what was wrong. That wasn't your fault at all. Derek.” She sighs. “Derek was annoyed about not getting into his room. So he was trying to make you stay downstairs."

"Oh." He says numbly. He doesn't know why he's so upset. "Right."

"So Friday? Movies?"

"Yeah." He hears himself say distantly. "Sure."

* 

Friday rolls around quickly. He finds himself waiting outside the Hale house ready to knock, with a stupid bouquet in his hands, wearing his best slacks and shirt.

It's just. Laura asking him out was so sudden, and yet. He doesn't want to hurt her. No, Laura deserves to be treated like a princess. 

And maybe after the date, he could. Try... to re-evaluate his feelings.

Laura Hale is beautiful. Her hair is always silky smooth, falling past her shoulders in a curtain, and she's gorgeous, with large green eyes, tanned skin, a flawless complexion. She's a model.

It's just that trying to think of her in that way is like trying to see a sibling in that light. She's so important to him, he truly loves her. But there just isn't any spark; any chemistry.

Before he raises his hand, the door is opened, and Derek stands on the other side.

"Hey!” He says with forced cheerfulness, plastering on a grin. “Laura there?"

"I'll just get her." Derek stares at him.

"So, uh.” He coughs awkwardly. “How's homework goin'?"

"Good." Derek answers shortly, still staring.

"Uh." He says, unsure.

"Laura! Stiles is here!" Cora screeches from inside the house.

Laura appears at the doorway, a long, light green dress brushing around her legs, falling down her sleek frame.

"Ready?" She grins.

Stiles tries to match it.

* 

And so they begin dating.

*  
It's strange, having a girlfriend. It feels nice.

He's never dated anyone before. He tries to do so to the best of his abilities.

He remembers every birthday and anniversary - although as Laura says, a month doesn't constitute for a candlelit dinner. Still. He thinks he's doing rather well.

So why is there this leaden weight in his stomach?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this a few days ago but AO3 was having problems, but now here it is! I've been writing this one quite frequently because I have a tonne of ideas, so stay tuned!

And so Stiles starts spending more time at the Hale house, and by association, more time with Derek.

It's usually at night, when he stays over at Laura's, and he goes downstairs to find Derek sprawled on the sofa watching TV at one in the morning.

He joins him, quietly coming over.

"What's on?" He asks, standing by the back of the sofa and leaning both elbows on the headrest.

Derek wordlessly gestures with the remote.

He chuckles. "Talkative as always."

"Hmm." Derek huffs. 

He smiles fondly and sits down.

They stay in comfortable silence for while, content with just breathing, the television down low, a soft hum.

He feels Derek's body heat beside him, the warmth radiating across, and sinks further into the couch, feeling his eyelids drooping.

They fall asleep like that.

* 

It keeps happening.

He has no idea why. But for some reason, by some sense, he and Derek seem to drift towards one another. He can't really explain it in a way that doesn't sound strange.

But he'll find himself floating towards the kitchen, and incidentally Derek will be making a sandwich. They'll make idle conversation for a while until he realises it's nearly been half an hour and he goes back to find Laura.

Stiles will be waiting for Laura to get ready before they go out, and Derek will find him, and they'll sit on the sofa and talk about anything and everything that comes to mind.

Eventually he'll look up to find Laura staring down at them, hands on her slim hips. Stiles will jump up and apologise and they'll get going.

He doesn't acknowledge the fact or even think about the reason why he enjoys his girlfriend’s little brother’s company rather than his girlfriend’s.

* 

"We're planning a surprise for Derek's birthday."

"What?" He whips around, grin breaking across his face in excitement.

"Yeah." Laura smiles at his reaction. "He isn't big on surprises, so obviously it would have to be something small, but I have no idea," she laughs, "what to do."

"Okay, so we can brainstorm, get some paper and just -- oh! You know who he really wants to see, that new band, he loves them. I can get tickets so easy - oh my God, I've just had this amazing idea! Okay so Derek loves that pizza place in town, so we could go there first and pretend that's all, and then we can give him the tickets - wait, Laura, wait. I've just had the best idea."

Laura is grinning, shaking her head at him in fond amusement.

"Running up to his birthday we say nothing, so he'll think nothing huge is happening, and then on the day we leave hints for him to find. We have a full day planned, and he'll find out as the day goes along. So in the morning we can have breakfast laid out in the kitchen, and then directions for him to come meet us, I don't know, in the park or something. We take him to Pizza Joint, and then when the birthday cake comes, he'll think that's everything, then BOOM." Stiles slaps his hand down. "We put the tickets on the table."

Laura smiles at him. "I think you're the kindest person I've ever met, Stiles."

He frowns. "What?"

"For our first date you took me to the movie I had been talking about all week, and then you drove us out to a field and laid a picnic down with all my favourite food." She chuckles. "For our one month anniversary you completely surprised me with dinner. And now you want to do all this for my little brother, because you know how close our pack is, even when you’ve only known him a few months."

Stiles ducks his head. "Well." He says, scratching the back of his neck. "I mean it was just an idea, I haven't done anything yet."

"The thought that counts." She grins, and leans over to kiss his cheek.  


* 

He finds Derek downstairs, as always.

He's half asleep, lolling back against the headrest, his knees splayed apart. Derek’s eyes flicker towards him and open fully as Stiles sits.

"Can't sleep?" Derek murmurs.

"Something like that." Stiles replies.

There's silence.

"Looking forward to your birthday?" He asks after a moment, quiet in the dark. "The big ‘one four’."

Derek huffs a soft chuckle. "I'll be collecting my pension any day now."

Stiles grins. "Seriously?" He jostles him with a playful elbow. "Not excited?"

Derek sighs. "I just know Laura is planning something, and I just really hope it isn't a surprise party, but I have this sinking feeling that it is."

"Oh, it's not that." He says without thinking.

Derek turns to him. "What?"

Stiles blinks. "I mean - just, I know she knows you hate them."

"Are you planning something?" He asks suspiciously.

"No." He cringes.

"Worst lie I've ever heard in my life.” Derek states. “I didn't even need to try that time."

"Okay!" He holds his hands up in surrender. "Okay, but it's a surprise! I'm not saying any more than that."

Derek rolls his eyes. "Relax, I'm not that huge about birthdays."

"This one, you will be." He claps him on the shoulder.

Derek raises his eyebrows. "Sure." He says in amusement.

"We are geniuses." He informs him, tapping his nose.

"Laura certainly is." Derek says, doing this wonderful twisty thing with his eyebrow that gives him an aura of condescension.

Stiles laughs loudly, then slaps hands over his mouth. "Oh shit!" He says, eyes wide.

"You better go before they come down." Derek says, tipping his head back.

"Why don't they come for you, anyway?" Stiles frowns. "Tell you to get to bed?"

"I've had insomnia since I was seven." He says, and shrugs. "They could, but it wouldn't make a difference."

"Sucks." He says, then realises the time is probably later than usual.

"Well, I'm beat." He stands, stretching. "I'll be going to my spare room now." He salutes before making his way up the stairs.

"Stiles, I forgot to mention something to you." Derek stops him with his voice, twisting around on the sofa.

Stiles stills, turning. "Yeah?"

"Hurt my sister." He starts. "And I'll rip your throat out." Derek raises his eyebrows, smiling politely. "With my teeth."

Stiles blinks. "Ok." He nods weakly, and stays frozen for a moment before making a hasty retreat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Long time no see! Now I know I mentioned I would post this weekend but Sunday night is still the weekend? Right?

They've been dating for just over a year now. If Stiles wasn't considered family before, he is by this point. 

People joke and laugh about 'when are you getting married?' And, 'I can hear the wedding bells!' But Stiles and Laura just laugh, embarrassed.

They haven't really done anything yet. They've kissed, but - 

It's just, they've both been really busy, what with studying for finals and applying to colleges, and they both have part-time jobs, so it's not as if they have the weekend free.

The only time Stiles really sees her, is well, when he comes over. And then Laura's whole family is there.

They'll watch TV or study or just hang out, and it's comfortable and it's easy but it isn't -- anything more than that.

He knows if he just talked to her about it, Laura would be totally cool. But he loses his nerve every time, worried he'll either hurt or insult her. 

Stiles thinks maybe Laura feels the same, sometimes. But he doesn't want to risk anything on a maybe. Everything is fine at the moment, its easy, it's comfortable, it's _fine. ___

The feelings will come eventually, real life isn't like the movies. It takes time. It's fine.

*

"Hey, Derek, do you know where - oh." Stiles stops in his tracks, freezing where he stands.

Derek's wearing a towel, clearly just having stepped out the shower, and looks up when Stiles barges unceremoniously into his room.

"Do I..?" Derek asks, eyebrows raised, when Stiles freezes.

"Sorry, dude, I didn't mean to just barge in - " Stiles starts backing away, holding his hands out. "Uh, doesn't matter, sorry."

"What?"

"Really sorry dude, just forget about it," he says in a rush and scrambles out the room.

*

His cheeks are still burning half and hour later. My God, did _he _look like that at fifteen? Not likely.__

__He stands in front of the mirror, naked as the day he was born, and surveys himself with a critical eye. Surveys his flat, concave stomach, the sharp protruding bones of his hips._ _

__He smooths a hand down his side, huffs and shakes his head.  
*_ _

__He finds him later on that night._ _

__"What was that all about?" Derek asks._ _

__"Dude." Stiles starts. "At fifteen, you would think you were twenty five."_ _

__Derek frowns. "What?_ _

__"Like - where did you get these?" He squeezes his arm. "Did you buy them at the grocery store? Two for one with your thighs or something?"_ _

__Derek laughs. "I just play soccer."_ _

__"Well, you're making me look bad!" Stiles says. "I'm seventeen and I'm a scrawny stick."_ _

__Derek tightens his mouth. "No you aren't."_ _

__"Either way." Stiles says, trying not to colour. "I've never seen a fifteen year old look like you." He raises his eyebrows._ _

__"Right." Derek says, glancing down, ears red._ _

__"You wanna watch those steroids - " and Derek pushes him off the couch._ _

__"Hey, I'm just saying!" Stiles laughs, pulling himself back up._ _

__"Well, you know, I do get vouchers from the gym, it helps to know people Stiles -"_ _

__Stiles jumps on top of him, rolling them both to the floor as Derek laughs, and they land with a thump._ _

__"Hey I exercise!" Stiles cries. "I take the stairs!"_ _

__Derek takes hold of his arms to stop Stiles from hitting him._ _

__"Just letting you know!" Derek laughs, using his words._ _

__"Stiles?" They both hear at the doorway._ _

__They freeze._ _

__Laura is frowning, wearing her night gown and squinting at them both. "I thought you were in the guest room." She says. "Derek?" She leans closer. "I thought you were in bed?"_ _

__"Derek gets insomnia sometimes, and I was just down - "_ _

__"Yeah, no, Stiles was getting water and I was just watching TV - "_ _

__They stand quickly, scrambling to get up._ _

__"Right. Are you going back to bed?" She asks, directed at Stiles._ _

__"I was." Stiles turns to Derek helplessly. "I was just."_ _

__"Yeah, I'm going as well." Derek nods._ _

__"Okay." Laura leaves._ _

__"You sure?" Stiles asks. "Dude, you don't have to go to bed just because I am."_ _

__"No, I'm tired." He stretches, yawning, rubbing his hands over his face and then running them through his hair._ _

__He looks a little like a floppy eared puppy. Soft-angled, vulnerable. The though strikes Stiles then, and he blinks to clear it._ _

__"Alright." Stiles laughs, grinning easy, and then he leaves._ _

__*_ _

__The day that he brings her home is like any other._ _

__He and Laura have been studying again, so Stiles decides to stay for dinner, not because Derek is out with friends and hasn't come home yet, but just because he's hungry._ _

__Only when Derek does come home, he has company._ _

__"Everyone, this is Paige." Derek beams bright and looks to a girl with long brown hair and wide, clear eyes._ _

__Stiles freezes._ _

__He looks up from his textbook and just freezes, his pen midair, hand hovering above the page._ _

__Nobody notices, too busy greeting 'Paige', asking questions and making conversation._ _

__"You staying for dinner?" Laura asks, welcoming and friendly._ _

__"Oh, um." Paige stammers and looks to Derek._ _

__"Yes." Derek rolls his eyes, although his cheeks are a little warm._ _

__Something opens up in Stiles' chest and stays that way - a gaping, empty chasm. He feels as if it's sucking everything inside it, like a black hole, and he can't breathe._ _

__"Sorry." He says idiotically, and rushes upstairs to the bathroom._ _

__He grasps the edges of the sink in a white-knuckled grip, concentrating on breathing slow through his nostrils._ _

__"What are you doing?" He hisses. "Get a grip." He shakes his head, blinking hard, and rubs at his chest where it hurts._ _

__He looks in the mirror at his half-crazed eyes, his flushed face._ _

__"Jesus Christ, Stiles." He mutters fiercely, and splashes his face with water._ _

__They're all settled around the table, and glance up as he enters._ _

__Paige is sitting close to Derek, her body turned towards him, and Derek is murmuring quietly, hands moving as he talks._ _

__"Stiles?" Talia says questioningly, and he realises he's frozen in the middle of the room again._ _

__"Oh." He laughs, taking his place beside Laura._ _

__He watches them all evening._ _

__The way they laugh blushingly, they way they lean closer to one another._ _

__Derek's eyes slide to his at one point, and he gives him a cursory nod before he turns to Paige again._ _

__Stiles feels as if he's breaking._ _

__As if he's literally breaking apart. Something inside him is splitting open and fracturing into jagged pieces._ _

__He knows it's bad when he imagines himself in her place._ _

__Imagines he were the person Derek had taken home to meet his family; nervous and shy, imagines Derek laying a comforting hand on his thigh as he does Paige's shoulder, imagines Derek leaning close to his ear to tell him something, hot breath on his face._ _

__He imagines what she must be feeling, excitement, nervousness, and then this rushing sense of vindictive bitterness washes over him._ _

__She doesn't deserve to have Derek's attention, doesn't deserve to bring that heat to his face, that colour to his ears. She doesn't deserve to sit close to him, to blatantly lean closer. What has she ever done in her life to deserve that?_ _

__"Stiles?" Laura murmurs quietly. "You okay?"_ _

__He shakes his head, distracted. "Hm." He huffs, and stabs at his stew. "Fine."_ _

__He can feel his teeth grinding, feel his hands balling into fists the longer he sits listening to Paige laugh, the longer he sees her inch closer until her hand lands on his knee._ _

__Stiles sees red._ _

__"You know what." He stands abruptly. "I'm not feeling too well. I think I'm just gonna head home."_ _

__He gives his goodbyes and makes a quick exit, not wasting any time. He doesn't notice the glances back and forth, Laura's worried expression, Derek's surprise._ _

__Once he's home he slams his bedroom door and starts pacing._ _

__His breathing is uneven, harsh, and then Stiles just rips a poster from his wall and throws it across the floor._ _

__He crosses over to his desk and scatters everything on it - the lamp, his schoolwork, books, everything. Stiles kicks the chair with one last surge of blinding fury and then falls on his bed, panting._ _

__Even after all that, his eyes still sting with the memory of her hand falling so casually onto him, as if it belonged there, as if she had the right to claim him._ _

__"Rrragghh!" He roars, ripping at the pillow under his head and throwing it across the room._ _

__He curls up on his side, as small as he can make himself, and feels hot tears build up in his chest until he's gasping them back._ _

__He hadn't even noticed it happening until it had already happened._ _

__Jealousy is such an ugly emotion, but it's so unavoidable when you're in love with someone._ _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. So I remember around this time last year, I had written more fics than I ever thought I would. Fanfiction became this safe haven, a distraction from my Crohn's and just the worst time I've ever experienced. 
> 
> I feel like I'm living someone else's life nowadays. I have a boyfriend, who I love. I dyed my hair. I've grown out my nails for the first time in my life. I finished my own novel. I'm going to university in a few weeks. 
> 
> I'm doing so many things, new and scary, some things I never thought I would ever do. It's been the best and most eventful summer of my life. 
> 
> And then I remembered I have so many unfinished stories, both posted here and unposted, and I couldn't just leave them. Yeah, my book is a major part of my life, but it's not the only writing I can and want to do. 
> 
> I promise I'll get better at updating, partly because I really want to finish all my stories, but mostly because of you wonderful and amazing people, that constantly give me motivation when I don't expect it. You are truly the best people on the Internet.

After that night, Stiles doesn't come over as much. 

Laura calls him, and for one moment, for this one second in time, he considers not answering. Something about pretending is that once you realise you're doing it, you have to actively pretend, or drop the act. 

He has two choices. 

"Hey, Laur." Stiles breathes deeply, cheek pressed to the pillow. 

"Hey!" She says brightly. "What happened there? You just ran out!"

"Really bad stomach ache." Stiles lies, blatantly. "I mean, really bad. Diarrhoea, the whole works." 

"Wow, I could've lived without knowing that." Laura says.

"I thought you were only dating me for regular updates on my bowel movements?" Stiles feigns confusion. 

Laura starts laughing.

"No? Was that just me?" He continues. "That's the impression I'm getting over here."

Her laughter dies, just a little. "Stiles." She starts. "Are we okay?" 

Stiles doesn't know why he didn't expect her to ask. "Laura, we're great." He says, and he means it. "You're my best friend. I love you." 

He can't lose her. It comes to him in a wave; he can't lose her. 

"Maybe I should ask if you're okay?" She adds, softer.

Stiles doesn't say anything for a moment. "I'm not even sure anymore." He huffs after a while, rubbing his face. 

"You can talk to me." She says, almost instantly. 

"I know." He replies. 

They say goodbye to that, even though they both know there's more to be said, that needs to be said.

He cries that night. He cries because of the huge stinking pile of shit that he's in. At dating Laura, at losing Derek, at pushing away Scott, his friends, his dad. Everything feels as if it's crashing down around him.

*

It's nearly two weeks before he sees Derek. By that time, he's already getting offers for college. 

His finger hovers over the keyboard on every acceptance email, just on the reply. He keeps waiting for a rejection, for something to cement that this is reality. 

And then he gets into ULCA, his first choice. He can barely see straight as he reads. 

When Stiles was younger, he used to imagine moving, uprooting his life and experiencing college, just immersing himself in studying and making new friends and doing new things and being _independent, _even if that meant surviving off instant noodles and homemade beer.__

__And now, now he still wants all that, but just in different ways. He's not the same person he was when he started high-school, maybe he's not even the same person he was at the start of this year. There are so many ways he's changed even Stiles couldn't say how, or when, or why._ _

__He knows Laura is staying somewhere local because of her family. He never really understood how pack bonds work, but sometimes Stiles thinks he could._ _

__The thought of moving to California should excite him, leave him nervous and giddy and a little sick. Now, it leaves him feeling hollow and confused._ _

__"Isn't this what you've always wanted?" His dad asks as they're making dinner._ _

"I mean, yeah, I get that-- " Stiles' hands fly everywhere as he rants. "And it's totally one of the best places to go, but it's just such a big change, and I thought I would be ready, and now I'm not sure, I mean more ready than I feel right in this exact moment, I thought I would feel _older _, if that even makes sense -- "__

____He hears his dad's soft chuckle, and whips around._ _ _ _

____"This isn't funny!" He shouts. "This is the opposite of funny -- "_ _ _ _

____John shakes his head. "Stiles, you'll always feel like that." He smiles. "It's just a part of growing up."_ _ _ _

____Stiles stops, and suddenly realises he's been breathing heavily, because his chest is moving. "Am I just making up excuses?"_ _ _ _

____His dad's smile grows wider, crinkling his eyes. "I think so."_ _ _ _

____A part of him wants to open his mouth and say, "what about - ," but then what would he say? What about the frozen yogurt place that knows his order off by heart? What about his girlfriend? What about living on the doorstop of all the most important people in his life? What about Derek?_ _ _ _

____His dad seems to sense everything, all of his thoughts, or maybe just the one, maybe the only one that really matters, because he pulls Stiles in and hugs him tight._ _ _ _

____*_ _ _ _

____He gathers the Hale family together a week later._ _ _ _

____"Okay." He claps his hands, rubbing the dry palms._ _ _ _

____"Stiles, I can hear your nervousness." Derek says, but it's not in his usual blunt manner. It's more of a question._ _ _ _

____Paige isn't here, mainly because he specifically asked for all Hale family members, but possibly because of the fact that Stiles disappeared directly after meeting her, and it's hard not to notice a thing like that._ _ _ _

But they're all just sitting there, and he hasn't seen them in what feels like _years _, when it's really only been weeks, and he wants to refresh the memory of Derek's face and the smell of the kitchen all at once.__

______"Okay." He repeats, blowing out a breath._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Stiles -- " Laura begins._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm going to ULCA." He blurts out._ _ _ _ _ _

______There's the suspended silence that movies don't usually include, because nobody ever wants to wait for the reaction, and then suddenly everyone is standing, clapping him on the back and laughing, shouting around the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______Stiles kind of bends in on himself, turning his shoulders crooked as he chuckles, and then Laura is wrapping her arms around him and squeezing tight. He puts his head over her shoulder just enough to see Derek, a frozen smile on his face, standing adrift in the middle of the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Derek!" Stiles shouts, and for some reason his voice is clogged, but he holds out an arm, and Derek steps forward warily until Stiles reels him in._ _ _ _ _ _

______He holds Laura and Derek close for a minute, so full up of emotion, some unnamable feeling, of love and pain and nostalgia all mixed together, that he has to just grip them, close his eyes and let himself feel it._ _ _ _ _ _

______*_ _ _ _ _ _

______A month goes by without him even noticing, of packing and planning, and then suddenly it's nearly time to leave._ _ _ _ _ _

______Stiles and Laura haven't spoken about what they're going to do, how it's going to work. It's as if they both know, in some way, that this is better._ _ _ _ _ _

______The strangest thing happens, however, that makes him reconsider that._ _ _ _ _ _

______He's over at Laura's, and they're meant to be packing and doing a hundred and one other things, but really they're just playing Mario kart and laughing loud as Stiles veers his whole body along with the controller._ _ _ _ _ _

______There are chips scattered across the living room carpet, and Cora is yelling with all her tiny lungs for Laura to "go right, GO RIGHT" and it's nothing and everything and then Stiles suddenly feels as if someone poured hot water inside his chest._ _ _ _ _ _

______It's so physical that he gasps, dropping the controller and touching the place that he felt it._ _ _ _ _ _

______Three things happen simultaneously._ _ _ _ _ _

______Laura turns to him, confusion turning to shock across her face._ _ _ _ _ _

______Cora suddenly stops and cries "MUM!"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Derek jerks from his hiding spot at the doorway and bashes his head against the wooden frame._ _ _ _ _ _

______"The pack bond?" Stiles repeats, for possibly the third or fourth time._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes." Talia says. "It seems like you're a part of it now."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Stiles throws his hands up, palms splayed. "Way wait, how is that even possible?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Mr Hale - James, even though he'll always be Mr Hale to Stiles - looks slightly sheepish. "It can happen. I've heard of a few mixed packs."_ _ _ _ _ _

"I'm part of the _pack _?" Stiles squeaks.__

________Laura takes one of his windmilling hands. "Not if you don't want to be. It's not a commitment, Stiles. We just see you as family, but that doesn't mean you have to be."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Not." Stiles blinks, and tries hard not to sniffle. "Not want to? Why on earth wouldn't I want to?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Laura grins, slow and bright. "No idea."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek is noticeably silent, and they haven't spoken in so long that it's starting to feel like a competition, who can hold the silence the longest.________

___Stiles stays over that night, and finds him on the couch, like always._ _ _

__  
_  
_

________"Are you okay with this?" Stiles asks, looking down and crossing his feet, unable to meet his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Derek huffs, tired. "Stiles, you couldn't be a part of the pack if the _whole _pack didn't want you to be."__

__________Stiles finally brings his eyes up. "That's not what I asked." He whispers. "I'm asking if you're okay with this."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek holds his gaze for a moment, oddly dark in the bright, artificial light of the kitchen, casting shadows across his face. "I think you know what I'm trying to say."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Something seems to break the moment, a noise, maybe a shift in the atmosphere, a second passing, but it's broken anyway. Stiles looks down again, and Derek blinks in the opposite direction._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I'm going to bed." Derek stands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles raises his eyebrows. "A little early?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek doesn't answer, just shrugs, and makes his way upstairs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Wait." The word feels pulled from his chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek stops immediately, turning his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"How - how are you and Paige?" He forces the question out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek shrugs once more. "Good. We're okay."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles nods sharply. "That's good. That's really good."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek waits a second longer, and then kind of tips his head forward. "I'm still leaving."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles exhales shakily. "Yeah. Sure thing." He laughs awkwardly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Once Derek's gone, Stiles flops down onto the couch, covering his hot face with both hands and squeezing his eyes shut to keep from groaning._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The bond doesn't seem to do anything in the days before he leaves. If he concentrates hard enough, he can feel it, like a dull weight, but otherwise he mostly forgets it's even there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sometimes he wonders what actually sparked it in the first place. He was just playing video games with Laura. Was it her that caused it to grow? Did it happen in that one minute, or has it been gradual, so gradual he hadn't even noticed? Was it something he was doing, saying?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Some childish, naive part of his mind imagines that it was Derek, watching the three of them there on the living room floor of his house, because maybe that one image, more than anything else, felt like the definition of family to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles can't remember how long Derek has felt like home. Maybe only since he realised he's in love with him, or maybe always._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Hello?" Comes the familiar, sleepy voice, and Stiles relaxes in bed, his muscles losing their tension when he hears that sound._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He's has just moved into his dorm room, that smells like stale dust and unfamiliar bedsheets, and he's tired, and groggy, so he calls the one person his brain can think of at the moment. They might not be speaking at the moment, they might not even be acknowledging each other, but there's nothing Stiles wants more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Hey, Derek." He murmurs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Stiles?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Did I wake you?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Not really." Derek replies, and yawns, an endearingly awkward sound, all croaky and muffled. "How are you?" He breathes out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Awful. Horrible. Miserable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Alright, you?" Stiles asks. "What you been doing?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Nothing much. Same old."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They chuckle for a moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"What you up to now?" Derek asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Just unpacked. Ready to go to sleep." He scrubs his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Mmm." Derek hums. "Me too."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Wait, just - stay on the line." He starts, a little desperate to his own ears. "I mean - I'm not ready _right _now - "__

____________"I'm here." Derek says, his voice softening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Something in those words seems to calm him, seems to settle his very core._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He traces his fingers over the edges of his phone, longing caught in his throat. He feels his eyes sting as he closes them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I just -" he sighs. "I _miss _you, Derek." He swallows. There's a moment of silence, and Stiles adds, softer, "and I'm not talking about now."__

______________There's breathing on the other end, then Derek says, very quietly, "I miss you too, Stiles."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Stiles dozes for a moment, comfortable in the presence of Derek, when he feels soothing contentment wash over him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He basks in it, until he realises that what he's experiencing isn't his own emotion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Derek?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Hm?" A sleepy, near-drugged voice slurs, until Derek becomes more alert. "Oh, sorry, I think I leaked through the pack bond. I forgot."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"No, it helped. I feel better." He says, smiling wide. "I feel - energised. I think it really helped."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"'S good." Derek murmurs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"One minute." He says, and then squeezes his eyes shut, focusing on the thread-thin connection shimmering in front of him, and lets some of himself slip, his emotions falling away - happiness and missing in equal measures._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Oh." Derek says, and his voice has changed, closer somehow. "I see."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Stiles feels slow seeping happiness, a burgeoning joy, cloud his senses suddenly, the feedback from Derek._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He smiles deliriously, and pours all that he's feeling in this very moment, his emotions opening like floodgates - a fondness so aching he feels it in the roof of his mouth, a yearning that could knock somebody breathless, a tumbling spiral of wanting home to wanting Derek to wanting Derek close to wanting Derek safe in his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Derek coughs suddenly, a startled indrawn breath, and Stiles realises everything has slipped through. It's as if it was being drawn out, Stiles was powerless to it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Derek - ", he starts, heart beginning to pound, "I didn't - "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"It's alright." Derek says. "I think there must have been another leak in the bond."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Yeah." He latches on quickly. "I think the emotions got lost."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Yeah." Derek replies, and then there's silence. "I'm going to bed."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Me too, I'm beat." He chuckles feebly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Goodnight, Stiles." Derek says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________"Night!" He says, and ends the call. Flops onto his back, bringing hands up to cover his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He rolls over and falls asleep, the bond still thrumming in his chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then. I can explain.
> 
> This fic has been getting a little love over the past few weeks, and so with a final burst of inspiration, I decided to finish. 
> 
> Only as you can imagine, my fingers ran away with me, and the final chapter ended up being too long to post.
> 
> I will have the final chapter for tomorrow, though. I've just cut it in half. 
> 
> However, I want to thank everyone who keeps commenting and inspiring me, it means more than you can know

University is like nothing Stiles ever expected. 

There are a few things that the movies got wrong. 

Firstly, people don't sit back in lecture halls with their colour-co-ordinated notepads and quietly take down notes; no, they sit forward with their laptops and _pound _on the keys until the only thing you can hear, over a distantly droning voice, is the sound of a million fingers typing furiously.__

__Secondly; professors don't take their time, gesturing to slides as they speak and walking around the room, allowing you time to catch up. No; they need to cram as much information into a one hour lecture as they possibly can, and spew it back out at you._ _

There are no slides. There is. _Nothing. ___

____Thirdly; you don't walk down the halls holding your books close to your chest set to some indie record as everyone blurs around you because you've made no friends._ _ _ _

____Nope; wrong again._ _ _ _

_Everyone _wants to make friends. Even if you actively avoid talking to people, someone will still come up, eyes bright and hopeful, and ask if they can take the seat beside you.__

______Someone will always want to meet you before the lecture to go over notes and get coffee, and then invite you out to the glow-stick rave next weekend to meet more bright and hopeful people._ _ _ _ _ _

Seriously. Not that Stiles has a problem with it, but he didn't _plan _on making so many friends. It just happened.__

________"Why, hello there." His dad says when Stiles calls, phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear, balancing his laptop in one hand and a bowl of nachos in the other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Hey, hi, sorry I didn't call, it's been manic." Stiles says, swerving to avoid dropping his dip._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Im not asking for a phone call every night Stiles, just a simple text, lets me know how you're doing."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I know I know I know, _but _", Stiles shovels three chips into his mouth because he hasn't eaten in nearly four hours. "But", he repeats, more mangled this time, "I have lectures at nine in the morning till five at night and we both know when I wake up at 8 o'clock I'm not fully human and it's not as if I can whip out my phone during a class -- "__

__________"Stiles, stiles, breathe." His dad says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles stops abruptly, mouth agape, mushed chip hanging precariously from his bottom lip._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Uh-huh." He tries._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"We're just missing you, that's all." John murmurs softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles rubs at his chest, a familiar, comforting action. The weight of the bond is still there. He swallows. "Oh yeah?" Stiles says casually._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Yes. One person in particular."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________His heart slams into his ribcage at that. "What?" He breathes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Your girlfriend, Stiles." John adds patiently._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Oh. Oh right, of course, yeah." He's not disappointed, he's _not. _He is not in love with a sixteen year old. It's a crush; a silly, stupid, agonising crush.__

____________"Stiles, you haven't been home in nearly a month." His dad begins. "Running away to college isn't the answer."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I'm not running, I - " he stops himself. "Wait, what do you mean?" Stiles frowns._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Son, a lot of the people think they might work, they might be happy, but they're really better as friends."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Stiles blinks widely. "What - "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Laura will understand." His dad says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I don't." Stiles presses the heel of his palm into his eye, but he knows it's a lost cause. "God, it's just such a mess." He finally admits._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Come home." John says. "Things will work out. You'll see."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Stiles stands with his cases in front of the house, just looking._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Nothing has changed. In this whirlwind that is his life now, rushing to classes, learning new ideas and meeting new people, _doing _new things; his house sits the same as it always has.__

______________No matter how the seasons change, how sun changes to rain, wind to storm, his house will always stay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Stiles breathes out, watching the air turn white in the early winter morning. He can smell the crisp pine and the wet bark, the frost on the grass. He absorbs everything, letting it seep inside his skin, memorising the feeling of being home._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________His dad envelops him in his arms, squeezing tight before pulling back. "Welcome back."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"It's - yeah." Stiles says softly. "It's... something." He was going to joke, retort with a, ' _ah, it's good to be home _', but the words get caught in his throat and stuck there.__

________________"Right, let's get you unpacked and settled in before the big reunion."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Stiles chuckles, but it's weak, and they can both hear it. Excitement and dread mingle nervously in his stomach, guilty with only one person at the forefront of his mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"The Hale family don't know you're here." John starts. "Wanted to surprise them."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Oh?" Stiles croaks. "Do you think it'll be a good surprise or a bad one?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________His dad laughs. "What do you think?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He has a few hours before going over to the Hale's, just to spend with his dad, catch up and settle back into the familiar routine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________His chest still feels tight with nerves, and the pack bond is thrumming beneath his veins, almost pressing against his skin trying to get in. Stiles ignores it, tries to push it back down. If he opens himself up, Der -- the whole family will find out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________For some reason, he wants their unchecked reaction, their unadulterated response at seeing him. That genuine, honest expression of first lighting on Stiles' face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Ready?" His dad turns to him in the car._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Stiles blows out a breath, and nods._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Well, look who I dragged off the streets." John begins at large as he steps inside, Stiles bumbling in awkwardly behind him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Talia turns and her face breaks into a beam, joy radiating from her so strongly, Stiles is almost knocked breathless._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Oh Stiles!" She cries as she wraps him in her arms, and then he really does get the wind knocked out of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Stiles laughs throatily, even as he's nearly squeezed to death. "Yes, I have returned from the war." He jokes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"STILES!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________A small body comes crashing into his legs and Stiles looks down to see Cora winding arms around his ankles, holding him in place._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"Is that who I think it is?" He hears a long drawl, and then Mr Hale appears around the door, stepping in to clap Stiles across the shoulders._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"It's good to see you Stiles." He smiles bright, and Stiles laughs, face flushed, but his eyes are scanning the room, excitement tightening his skin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________"There's somebody who's been waiting to see you." Talia pulls back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Stiles feels his heart speed up, and whips his head around wildly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He hears feet come crashing down the stairs and then Laura is standing at the landing, eyes wild, hair tied up and face flushed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Stiles laughs and then she's running forward and throwing herself at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Stiles catches her laughing, lifting her up and twirling her around._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

" _I missed you so much _!" She screeches into his eardrum.__

__________________"I miss the ability to hear, Laur!" Stiles shouts back, and then everyone is laughing, and he sets her down, grinning bright, and looks to the landing again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Oh, honey, Derek's out tonight." Talia says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Just like that, the excitement drains from him. In the blink of an eye, the joy, the love he had felt, dissipates._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________There's no hiding it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Everyone silences; Laura's face falling, Mr Hale pressing his mouth together sympathetically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Oh." Stiles croaks, and attempts a laugh. It's the worst thing he's ever heard, and he makes the noise. "Right, of course."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He feels a touch to his wrist, and glances up as Laura takes his hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"I'm just gonna talk to Stiles for a minute." She says, turning to he parents._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Sure, you two catch up." Talia murmurs, but there's a sadness in her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Laura takes him up to her room, and Stiles smiles as he looks at the walls, the familiar bedsheets, the lampshade, the posters._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"He was so young, Stiles." Laura says, suddenly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Stiles blinks at her, turning his gaze away. "What?" He frowns._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________She clasps her hands together, sitting down on the bed, head bent. When nothing more comes, Stiles follows._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"He just - he was so, so young. He was _thirteen _."__

____________________"I don't know what you're talking about." Dread is coiling in his gut, though._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Laura looks up, and her eyes are glistening. "I think you do. I know you do."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________"Laura, what are you trying to say?" Stiles asks, abrupt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________"We look out for each other, pack." Laura starts. "I was just looking out for him."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Stiles sits back slowly, in increments, cold realisation forming like a weight in his gut. "What?" He says, voice soft._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Laura shakes her head, desperate. "No, no, Stiles, you don't understand. I need to explain. He was so young, but he-- God, Stiles, his eyes shone when he looked at you. You're so much older though, I thought you'd never feel the same. Could never feel the same." She looks at Stiles, pleading. "I didn't want him to go through that. I asked you out, I thought if we went on a date it might make his feelings change. Pack works that way - no one in the pack can have feelings for the same person." Laura swallows, and there are tears in her eyes. "Or at least, if the pack thinks someone has feelings for that person."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________His heart is in his throat, beating hard against his pulse point. "I don't understand." He croaks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Then things started to change, we were dating, it was easy." Laura begins, rushed. "It felt natural, Stiles, as if I could love you, as if I _did _, and then Derek found Paige--"__

______________________A noise escapes his throat at that, some kind of pained grunt, as if he's been impacted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________"-- and then you were part of the pack, you were a part of what I was trying to protect and I couldn't say it, God, Stiles, please don't tell me I'll lose you to this -- "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Laura, hey." Stiles croaks, his voice still unrecovered. "Never, okay? We both know we're meant for each other, but we're meant to be _friends. _You're my best friend in the whole world. You'll always have me."__

________________________Laura blinks, and tears fall on her cheeks. "I can't believe I've done this--"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________"Hey, hey." He takes her hands. "This was my fault too. I should have said something, told you how I felt."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Laura shakes her head, squeezing his palm with both hands. "No, Stiles, none of this is your fault. _None _of it."__

__________________________Stiles looks down at their hands for a minute. "So what do we do now?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Laura swallows. "I don't know."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Stiles coughs. "Where - where is he?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________"Stiles." Laura says, achingly tender. "He's at a party with Paige."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Stiles nods, trying to ignore the stinging that hurts his eyes. "That's good. It's a Saturday, he should be out."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________"You don't have to do that." Laura whispers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Stiles just nods, trying to keep the hot pain inside, but it escapes through his shut eyes, and he shakes his head. "Sorry." He gasps, clenching his jaw. "It's just - it's hard."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Laura pulls him in and wraps arms around his shoulders, and Stiles presses his face into her collarbone, gritting his teeth to keep from crying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________He's scrolling through Facebook that night, catching up with people's lives and distracting himself, when he comes across it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Derek Hale was tagged in a post. ___

____________________________There's laughter from behind the camera, light and girly. "Oh my God, you are so drunk."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Derek stumbles slightly, clutching a beer in one hand. "I'll have you know.. I am not." He slurs, pointing a finger around the neck of the bottle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Paige laughs, fond. "No, you're adorable."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________Derek grins bright, and the video cuts off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_You two are so cyoott ___

_Haha! Drunk Derek is so much more fun ___

_Omg how do you save this ___

_guys guys guys guys guys ___

_my heart! It's melting! ___

______________________________________Stiles rolls over in bed, curls up and presses nails into his legs to focus on that pain, and not the agony that feels as if it's radiating out of every pore, splitting him in half._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________He doesn't hear from Derek for a week._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Stiles has given up pretending; pretending he could love Laura, that he doesn't love Derek, just letting an easy smile grace his features and _pretending _.__

________________________________________He feels the pack bond late one night, a tentative brush across his mind, like fingers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_I'm fine, _he texts Laura.__

_I'm glad, _she responds.__

____________________________________________He doesn't hear anything more than that. He still feels the same thing, though, every night._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________It eats away at him. Stiles takes notes during lectures and speaks up in tutorials and laughs at lunch but he's hollowed out, he's empty, the same way he was Derek brought her home for the first time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________It feels as if a piece of him is missing, a part of him is just gone, maybe the piece that broke away as soon as he set eyes on Paige._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It's not her fault. She's sweet, she's young and innocent and it's _not her fault. ___

______________________________________________But the days drag, everything is listless, he brushes his teeth but he can hardly feel his gums, he goes to sleep and wakes up but it's all starting to blur together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________He feels his phone vibrate in the middle of the night, five days after he goes back to University._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________Stiles picks it up, blinking down in confusion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________"Hello?" He mumbles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Stiles, goddamnit." Derek spits, and there's anger in his voice, there's _fury. _"For God sake, couldn't you at least - " he cuts off, his breath hitching oddly as if he's been crying.__

________________________________________________"Derek?" Stiles sits up in bed, more alert than he's been in days._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I can't keep doing this, I've tried to wait for you to get in touch but for _fuck _sake, you don't answer anything -- "__

__________________________________________________"Derek." Stiles rubs his forehead. "You haven't texted."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________"The pond, you fucking moron." Derek snarls. "Do you think I can't feel every single thing you're going through?" He makes that cut off sound again, a choked gasp._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________________________________Stiles feels the colour drain from his face. "Derek -- "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Why don't you just _answer? _"__

____________________________________________________"I didn't know it was you." Stiles says quickly. "I didn't-- I thought it was Laura."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________There's silence on the other end, the sound of harsh breathing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"I heard, by the way." Derek says, voice changed, oddly flat. "I heard you broke up."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles doesn't say anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"Is that why things have been so bad? The past few days?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles stares at a point on his knee, trying to think of what to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"I --" he starts, just as Derek says, "you're--"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________They both wait, breathing hard, and then Derek says, "you're still a part of the pack."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles squeezes his eyes shut, feeling tears in the corners of his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"Or not, forget I said that just forget I said anything --" Derek starts desperately._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles coughs a wet laugh. "How can you even tell that's the wrong thing to say?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"I can feel it." Derek says, a quiet croak of speech. "It's like. Like you're being torn apart Stiles."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles wraps an arm around his waist, holding himself together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"I never knew you felt that strongly." Derek says, and then clears his throat and whispers, "about her."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles presses fingers into his eyes, the truth ready to burst free from his chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"Derek." He breathes, the sound escaping involuntarily. "You can't think -- " Stiles cuts himself off, realising he could so easily spill everything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"What?" Derek says, sounding closer somehow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"You can't think this is for Laura." He finally states. "You just can't."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________There's quiet. "What's it for then?" Derek's voice is softer than a whisper._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles covers his eyes with his hand as if to hide away. "It's for you." He admits._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Nothing comes. There's no answer, no reaction. There's nothing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles curls up around his knees, squeezes his eyes shut under his palm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"Stiles." Derek rasps, as if the word is being pulled out of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"Don't say it." Stiles murmurs. "You don't need to say it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"Say what?" Derek is barely audible._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________Stiles shakes his head, mindlessly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________________________________________"Is it because -- because you think we won't see each other now?" Derek's voice dips just under inaudible, and Stiles has to press close to hear. "Because we will, Stiles. You're a part of our family."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Derek." Stiles starts, his voice recovering in a wave of frustration. "It's for _you. _It's all for you."__

______________________________________________________This time, the silence lasts so long that Stiles has to break it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________________"Jesus, Derek!" He shouts, and then lowers his voice quickly when he remembers the time. "This has to be the longest conversation in history with the least amount of words." Stiles hisses._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________________"I don't know what you mean." Derek states._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________________________"Well you've said about two things--"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Not _that _." Derek growls. "I don't know what you mean about this being all for me."__

________________________________________________________"Think about it, Derek." Stiles sighs, tired. "Just think. Think about the first time you met me. Think about everything that happened afterwards, everything that I did. Every single thing I said and every single way I acted around you. Think about the bond. Think about the fact that we're on the phone right now, at two in the morning."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________Derek is quiet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"I don't want to have to say it." Stiles murmurs, after a moment. "But I'll say it, if you want me to."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"Say it." Derek says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"I love you, Derek." Stiles says, suddenly freed. "I'm in love with you."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________Derek doesn't reply._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"Well, now you know." Stiles states, simple. "Bye."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"Wa-- " There's a strange, strangled noise, as if Derek's throat closes up mid-speech. "Wait, Stiles." He manages to get out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________Stiles' heart pounds, and he waits, phone pressed to his ear. "Yeah?" His own voice is unrecognisable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"I need to see you." Derek starts suddenly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________Stiles feels nauseous excitement clench his insides. "Okay." He says, clutching the phone so hard his hand aches._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"When?" Derek asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"Anytime-- tomorrow?" Stiles replies instantly. "I can catch a flight."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"Tomorrow?" Derek's voice changes too, breathy with something - happiness, nervousness, hope._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"I'll see you then." Stiles says, and Derek chuckles, this sharp burst of a laugh._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"I'm asking if I'll see you tomorrow?" Derek clarifies._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"And I'm saying you will." Stiles answers, laughter bubbling underneath, ready to explode._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________________"Okay." Derek laughs, and then Stiles laughs, and then they're laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly done! Ohhh, what will happen next, stay tuned to find out


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are! You made it!
> 
> In all honesty, this fic was supposed to be three chapters of pure fluff but what can I say? If you've read any of my previous work, you'll know that I'm physically incapable of doing that. So apologises.
> 
> Either way, thank you all that have continued to comment and keep me motivated, it's so kind to constantly receive things from you and know that people do care about my stories and my writing!
> 
> Anyhow, from here on out I'll be better at updating things, scouts honour

He's early. 

The winter frost is almost palpable in the air now; you could almost taste it on your tongue.

Stiles arrived in the small hours of the morning and his dad has bundled him inside, frozen and shivering after throwing everything he owned into one very ill-suited suitcase and catching the first plane he could. 

"I can't explain." He starts. "I need to go to the Hale's." 

"You need a proper sleep and a mug of coffee." John looks him over. "Make that two."

Stiles rubs his dry palms together, the friction making his skin catch. He blows on them, standing outside the door. 

He raises a hand to knock, but then it's opening. 

Seeing Derek again is like breathing after being underwater. 

He just stands there, just as effortlessly perfect as before, because the definition of perfect doesn't fall around Derek; Derek defines perfection. 

His hair is rumpled with morning bed-head, tufted and standing up every which way, he's wearing a soft Henley and loose fitting, chequered draw-string pants, that hang around his sharp hipbones, the tan skin peeking through. 

And he stands there, and he looks at Stiles, the same way Stiles is looking at him.

Stiles wants to reach forward, to touch him: to step into Derek's arms, to put his arms around Derek, just to _hold _him, but Derek takes a sudden, sharp step backwards.__

__"Right." He says, voice curt. "Come in."_ _

__Stiles coughs, colour coming to his cheeks, and nods._ _

__Derek walks through the empty hallway. "Everyone is out." He states._ _

__Stiles clears his throat. "Cool." He stuffs hands into this jacket, shoulders up at his ears. Stiles thought - he didn't know what he had thought, what he had foolishly expected._ _

__It wasn't this._ _

__"You --", Derek starts, then cuts himself off with a soft growl. "I'm not good -- at this." He's speaking through his teeth._ _

__Stiles nods down at the floor. "Mm." He says._ _

__"I can't really say things very well." Derek elaborates._ _

__Stiles can visibly see he's trying; from the balled fists at his sides, the corded muscles of his biceps, it's clear that this is causing him some kind of physical pain._ _

__Stiles stares down at the ground when he answers. "You know you didn't have to.. do this. You don't need to explain.. why you don't," he coughs, blinking hard at the wooden floorboards, "um, don't feel the same -- "_ _

__"Stiles." Derek huffs in exasperation, his jaw clenching as he glances up at the ceiling. "God, you're such an idiot."_ _

__Stiles nods at the floor, so stung he doesn't breathe._ _

__"Stop closing it." Derek says._ _

__Stiles blinks, and looks up._ _

__"The bond." Derek states. "Stop closing it."_ _

__Stiles flushes hard, and then does as Derek says._ _

__It's easy. He has to repress it everyday, to physically bite nails into his palms and keep it shut, to not let his emotions fall through the trapdoor; or better, fall over the edge, fall into the bottomless, wondrous chasm that is the other side._ _

__But opening, that's as natural as breathing. He sighs, feeling himself unwind, and closes his eyes to the release, to falling over a cliff and into a waterfall._ _

__Love._ _

That's the first thing that hits him. A sense of sheer love - an endless sense of loving. This sure sense of belonging, of being wanted, but more - being _adored. _Being accepted and cherished. He feels welcome, feels every pain and hurt melt away in the face of that love.__

____Underneath; longing. An unbearably stifling sense of longing. Burning, aching for someone. Lust like a gnawing crave that tightens your gut._ _ _ _

____Fondness. Amusement and endearment. It seeps into the cracks, the in-between. Excitement, happiness._ _ _ _

____Sadness is the last to come. A bittersweet melancholy - a feeling of being happy, no - proud of his sister, glad for her happiness, and then abject misery. Misery at never having Stiles for himself._ _ _ _

____"Derek." He opens his eyes to Derek's clear, calm gaze._ _ _ _

____"Do you understand now?" He asks._ _ _ _

____Stiles nods, words punched out of him, and then he opens himself to the connection in the same way as Derek has._ _ _ _

____His emotions are different through the bond - Derek's are intense, startlingly vivid, whereas his come as a whirlwind, thoughts and feelings flickering past too quickly to understand._ _ _ _

____Still, the same recurring ones - devotion, a tenderness so bright and piercing the bond jolts between them. An all consuming want, burning for him, aching for him._ _ _ _

____Bitter, acidic jealously, so rancid and furious Stiles feels his jaw clench as he remembers, cheeks stinging in mortification. Pain and dejection, this swarming feeling of despair as Derek pulls further and further away from his life._ _ _ _

____"You feel it too." Derek murmurs, awed, eyes wide._ _ _ _

____Stiles nods, breathless._ _ _ _

____"You're my mate."_ _ _ _

____Stiles doesn't know who moves, he isn't even aware of his own body, only the need to be close to Derek, to feel him._ _ _ _

____They come together like colliding forces, base elements. The space in between them feels like a gulf of sea that needs to be crossed, and they wade to one another, finally finally finally making it to the shore._ _ _ _

____Stiles' arms coming around to crush Derek, and Derek grips him tight and presses his face into the curve of Stiles' shoulder, grappling at his back, clutching at his clothes._ _ _ _

____Stiles gasps as he feels hands run underneath his shirt to his bare skin, his own winding into Derek's hair hurriedly, pulling him ever closer._ _ _ _

They topple and crash against the wall, losing their balance in their haste. Desperately, Stiles needs to be closer, he needs to feel all of him, to touch and _taste. _This primal urge comes over him, from some deep well inside him.__

______"Tried to deny it for so long," Derek is saying, words tumbling, "thought I could ignore it, it would go away, thought you'd think I was just some kid with a crush -- "_ _ _ _ _ _

______"No, never." Stiles hisses viciously. "Fuck, Derek, I'm so fallen for you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Derek shakes his head grinning, "that doesn't make sense."_ _ _ _ _ _

______"I don't care." He says, pulling at his t-shirt, ripping at the worn fabric. "I don't - I want you, I need to feel you, I need to know this is real - "_ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes." Derek gasps, rucking up his own shirt. "Yes, God yes."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Stiles lifts the edges roughly and Derek moves his arms so they can both wrestle him out of the offending thing, and then Stiles throws it across the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______"No, God, Stiles." Derek chokes a laugh. "My parents."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Stiles rushes to retrieve it from where it's strewn across the sofa, and comes back laughing, holding it to his chest._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Now you have way too many clothes." Derek says, cocking an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _

______Stiles flushes all the way down to his throat, and grins shyly. "I'm not gonna compare to these bad boys." He chuckles, and squeezes Derek's arm, running a hand up and stepping close._ _ _ _ _ _

______Derek's gaze darkens, pupils dilating in one swift blink. "No. Nothing compares."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Stiles smirks. "To your arms?"_ _ _ _ _ _

Derek blinks, and then squeezes his eyes shut. "Not. _Me." ___

________Stiles can't help it; he laughs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He just starts laughing, leaning into Derek's side, happy and so utterly relived, until he feels a hand curl around his jaw; a warm, smooth palm on his cheek._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Stiles glances up and sees Derek watching him, breath fanning across his nose, thumb stroking his cheekbone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The touch of Derek's mouth isn't unexpected, but still comes as a shock to the system. The soft, gentle way his lips press against Stiles, his tender touch, feels like it's shaking him down to the core._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Stiles pushes forward, burying both hands in the thick mass of Derek's hair and pulling him closer, feeling the warm, smooth slide of Derek's naked chest on his t-shirt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek's mouth opens, his tongue just brushing the inside of Stiles' mouth, tenderly flicking the tip over his bottom lip._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"You're too good at this, you've done this before." Stiles gasps, pulling away, tingles racing down his spine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"I've had practise." Derek smirks cockily, and Stiles isn't prepared for the dark flash of heat that coils in his gut, for the way this teeth want to pull back into a snarl._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek shivers suddenly, and Stiles realises that the bond is still open; Derek can still feel every single one of Stiles' thoughts and feelings._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Sorry." Stiles breathes, still burningly angry at that careless statement, but Derek shakes his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"No, I'm sorry." Derek kisses the edge of his jaw. "Was lying. Wanted to make you jealous."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Stiles rears his head back. "Why did you want to make me jealous?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek presses deeper into the crook of his neck. "Dunno. Just like it. Like you being jealous over me. Sorry if that's kinda twisted."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"No, fuck, it's hot." Stiles says, shaking his head hard, and then he squeezes his eyes shut. "But if you like it, I'm gonna end up losing my mind over here."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Derek lifts his head, green eyes alight. "How?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Cause Derek, _fuck, _the idea of you and Paige --"__

__________Derek frowns quickly. "Me and Paige?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Stiles grits his teeth. "I saw the video."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Derek raises an eyebrow. "Where I'm drunk?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Where you're being -- a _couple _." Stiles extricates himself from Derek's grip.__

____________"Wow, hey, hey." Derek grapples to get him back. "What are you talking about?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Stiles swallows hard. "I can't do this if you're seeing someone -- "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Abruptly, hurt flashes across Derek's face, as though he's been slapped with it. "You think I'm seeing Paige?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Stiles looks at him, gaze scanning Derek's expression. "I don't know what to think anymore."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Answer the question, Stiles." Despite being almost three years younger and utterly shirtless, Derek still manages to look threatening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Aren't you?" Stiles tries, suddenly painfully unsure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Derek's jaw clenches, fury bleeding into his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"I don't-- Derek, please-- " Stiles starts, desperate, realising his mistake._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"If you really think that little of me, you need to leave." His tone is cold, unforgiving._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Tears stand in Stiles' eyes, sudden and abrupt. "Fuck, I know, I shouldn't have said it-- "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Get out." Derek rips his shirt from Stiles' hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Stiles stands, fingers numb, frozen. He feels as if a bucket of ice has been poured down his spine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Stiles." Derek snarls, but there's a pain twisting his features, making him stand stiff._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Stiles shakes his head. "No."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Derek's eyes are wet with unshed tears. "I'm asking you to leave." He states bluntly, but his voice is rough, clogged._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Stiles can't seem to move his body; all his muscles are locked. He shakes his head, wordless, throat closed up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He thinks desperately of something he could do, anything that could fix this, and latches on to the one thing he knows will speak better than words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Stiles feels the bond in his chest, and focuses._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Everyone, this is Paige ___

_look up, shock, pain, beautiful smile Derek beaming happy no no nononononnono,_

_Derek smiling small and private, hair ruffled and unkempt, so painfully wonderfully perfect in pyjamas and an old ratty t-shirt, God Stiles keep it together he's not that attractive, he's not, Laura,_

_Laura laughing bright he loves her he does he does "do you want to go on a date?" but does she does she want this,_

_"I can't believe I've done this" "no, Laura, I should have said something" should never have said yes, never have messed everything up,_

_"he's at a party with Paige", "God, you're adorable" you two are so cute so perfect together so wonderful why why why he's Stiles' he's Stiles' he's not Stiles' he'll never be Stiles' never ever ever,_

______________There's a gasp, suddenly, and Stiles opens his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Derek's chest is heaving, eyes wild, but he growls low and says, "don't you dare. Don't dare, Stiles, two can play at that."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Stiles only has time to frown, opening his mouth, before it feels as if he's been hit squarely in the chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_"hey Derek!" look down, don't blush don't fucking blush you complete dork, ___

_he's Laura's boyfriend he's your sisters boyfriend this is perverse it's wrong, you shouldn't be feeling this, you shouldn't be able to feel anything at all,_

_"Derek, you can't help it" Paige, sincere eyes, kind face, she's the only one that understands, nobody else will understand, "I don't know what I'd do without you", "you'll always have me,"_

_Stiles is leaving he's going it's good this is good, he won't come back he won't remember you, you're just a stupid kid, his sisters little brother,_

_"Me and stiles broke up" look up, Laura at his door, eyes red-rimmed, don't feel happy don't Jesus Derek, "maybe it's for the best" "I know" "did you love him?" the way I do, do you, "yeah Derek, but it's different" "how?" "just talk to him" does Laura know does Stiles know, where is he how is he is he okay need to see him wish he was here he's gone Derek just accept it_

_Stiles is completely torn up, fuck knew he would never feel the same, you're such an idiot, such an idiot,_

________________"Derek." Stiles chokes out, memories whirring past too quickly for him to process._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_can't take it anymore, need to call him, need to see him, wish I could touch him hold him he doesn't want you ___

__________________"And you think I'm seeing Paige?" Derek spits._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Stiles barges forward, almost tripping in his haste to get to Derek, and then they're kissing again; wild and hungry and desperate, as if they'll never have another chance, as though they'll be ripped apart at any minute._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Get this--" Derek rumbles, pulling at his shirt, and Stiles takes it off, tossing it to the ground and getting hands back on Derek._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Derek's palms rove over his bare skin, as if memorising the feeling, the sensation, and Stiles bucks up with painful arousal, feeling as if he's been lit on fire with it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"They won't - they won't be home for a while." Derek pants._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Stiles shudders at those words, and then freezes. "Wait." He says. "Can't they feel this? Through the pack bond?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Derek stares at him, and then he laughs. "You still don't get it, do you?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Stiles blinks. "What?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"This is our bond." He states._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________The Christmas holidays creep up on him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________It's a flurry of assignments and essays and deadlines and then suddenly, in the blink of an eye, there's mistletoe in the hallways, snow lining the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"You coming out?" Kyle slaps him on the shoulder but Stiles shakes his head, wordlessly pointing with a pen to his laptop open at his essay._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Sorry, man." He chuckles, shrugging._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Aw, that's always your excuse!" Kyle shouts, waving him off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Stiles smiles, and once he leaves, clicks from the word doc to flight times._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________*_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He opens the door quietly, not wanting to make a fuss and cause a commotion, and then stands at the doorway, leant against the frame, just watching._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________The Hale house is alive with motion, bustling with activity; everybody moving around the dinner table, stretching for bread or passing the butter, pulling on party crackers and shouting over each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Laura laughs and leans into Chris, Allison's older brother, who flushes, although there's a crooked lift to his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Scott slaps a hand across his face as Cora pummels him at wii sports, his papier-mâché crown titled to one side on his head and almost falling off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Jackson shouts in outrage as Danny falls on his ass laughing. Allison crows in victory for the girls team, lifting a hand up to high-five Paige._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________His dad spoons potatoes onto a plate, nodding along to whatever Mr Hale is saying, gesturing animatedly. Talia comes around the table, placing a hand on each one of their shoulders and bending to speak in their ear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________They laugh, and Stiles smiles, hidden in the little alcove._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________It's the scene at the end of a film; the happy resolution, the goodbye._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Sometimes, the movies can get it right._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________There's just a little something missing, however._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Did someone say turkey?" Stiles lifts off the doorframe and crosses inside._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He laughs as he's welcomed into the circle with exuberance and joy. His dad jumps up and embraces him, and then arms and legs are piling on, everyone coming over all at once. Stiles beams bright and wide as people cling to his shoulders, and swings them around, turning his head and looking up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Derek has his arms crossed, eyebrows raised, but there's the barest ghost of a smile playing across his mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"You don't seem all that surprised to see me!" Stiles grins, shouting over the noise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Derek grins back. "I knew you would make it."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Stiles cocks an eyebrow back. "Oh yeah?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Derek purses his mouth, shrugging. "Just had a feeling."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Stiles watches him, and suddenly feels as if he's been transported back to that classroom, turning to look up at Laura, not knowing what that would ever bring him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He extricates himself from his family and crosses over to where Derek is standing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________His smile can't get any wider._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________"Hi."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you! Comments, critism, anything - swing it my way
> 
> I'm also Peasantaries on [Tumblr](https://peasantaries.tumblr.com/), [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/peasantaries), and [ Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/peasantaries/)! Come over and talk to me! I'll never bite <33


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